TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
