i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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