I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
