I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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