I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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