maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
