I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
