I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
