normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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