We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Watching her eat just hurts me
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
