Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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