sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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