That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize