Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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