Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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