She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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