how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
