Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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