I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize