Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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