I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
