is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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