2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize