ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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