No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize