So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
