is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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