Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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