The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
