I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
