I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
