bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
