Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
