don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
