think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
