I think I died a long time ago.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I wear drunk well.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
