Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize