Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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