Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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