It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
