Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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