I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
