dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize