Just fell off a train. Bad.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
