And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
