her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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