Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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