well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
