the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
