capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Holy shit dude........stairs
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
