Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
