Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
