and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
