So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
