I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
