I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
