dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
