dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
