hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Help. Why am I so naked?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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