real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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