Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
