His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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