Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
