Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
