does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Randomize
