it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
