Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize