My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
