Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
