Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize