ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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