When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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