I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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