I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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