What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
