Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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